If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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