My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
