Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
