There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
