I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
babies were throwing up all over the place
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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