oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
