Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
