sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
