Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
