Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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