I have demons in me.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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