Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
