dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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