so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
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