i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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