these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
