hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
