morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
