I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
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