It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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