They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Why did my mother make you get naked?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
