Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
