Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I fill condoms, not promises.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
