That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
