no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
