I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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