Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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