He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
