Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
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