Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Randomize
