this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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