I just gift wrapped bread.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
