He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
