i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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