It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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