Fuck appropriateness.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
