i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
