I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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