gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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