In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
