Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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