We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
