I will die if light touches me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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