You just made me feel so damn special
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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