Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
she smelled like a LAN party
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
