I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
