Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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