his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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