I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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