Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I fill condoms, not promises.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
